11 responses to “Do Nice Guys Finish Last in Social Media?

  1. Nice post, Chuck. Well said all around. And a worthy solution to promote the nice guys.

    Has there been any research on what people say motivates them (us) to play in the Social Media world? And how does that square with how we actually use Social Media, our “real” motives?

    • Hi Steve – good questions. I’m not aware of any off the top of my head…I think we’re drawn to like-minded, genuine people, but other than that, I haven’t seen any sort of scientific evidence one way or another.

  2. This frustrates me greatly, as I’ve seen it more and more lately. People who send me DM’s to “Check out my new post!” or “Vote for me” in the latest and greatest twitter/blogger popularity contest. They’re only angling for themselves and not trying to help others. But thsoe people are often the ones who get noticed, build a sycophantic community and get recognized.

    Meanwhile, there are plenty of people who are cranking out good, thoughtful and thought-provoking content who don’t get noticed because they’re uncomfortable constantly screaming “LOOK AT ME!” all the time. I try to make it a point every week to share a couple of posts from lesser-known bloggers.

    I’m not saying that the reason for doing all this blogging and tweeting is simply attention/recognition/popularity, but I agree with you that often people who are good self-promoters can get away with producing mediocre content. A lot of the really good work goes unrecognized.

    • Thanks, Amy. I, like you, find it hard to stomach the self-promoters, but realize they will always be out there. I don’t necessarily mind if someone flags a post in a DM for me, but only if I’ve had the opportunity to engage with them on social networks before. What is really disturbing are the number of times I get DM’s from people I’m following who I haven’t “spoken” with in weeks, but now want me to promote their content. No thanks.

      By the way, you’re one of the people we need to promote more than we are! Thanks again for commenting!

  3. Transparency is the key, and as the community continues to grow, and continues to become more and more savy when it comes to how social media works, those who are not transparent will falter. Personally, I can’t stand self promoters, but I find things like retweeting client posts, without mention that the source is a client, just as wrong, lazy and disingenuous.

    The nice guys will come out on top, trust me.

    • Thanks, Nader. I think you are right that transparent folks ultimately win the day…just wish it wasn’t a bataan death march until it happened.

  4. Pingback: Twitter Trackbacks for Do Nice Guys Finish Last in Social Media? « Alternate Perspectives [chuckhemann.wordpress.com] on Topsy.com

  5. Thanks for the link Chuck. Glad to hear the post is still driving some thought.

    My thoughts on this issue have changed over time and I’m still working to find a balance. I think that because people in this space love to call others out, and condemn selfishness, people are afraid to be the least bit self-promotional. This isn’t really a good thing.

    If we’re talking about transparency, then to claim to only be here to help others isn’t very transparent. We all have some sort of agenda, and we all want to better ourselves and our careers. Sometimes, a little self-promotion is necessary.

    The balance I’m talking about is where you aren’t only pushing yourself and your own work. We’ve heard of all the ratios of 80% promote others and 20% promote yourself. I don’t think there’s any magic ratio, but it’s up to each of us to know when to help each other, and also when to help ourselves.

    Comment is getting pretty long…you’ve given me a lot more to think about. Thanks.


    • Hi David – thanks for stopping by and lending some more insight on the issue. I’m not sure what the right balance is either. I think it will evolve over time, and the folks going in the wrong direction will be weeded out.

      The 80/20 ratio you mentioned above is interesting. That feels right, but some are closer to 50/50, which definitely doesn’t. Anyway, fodder for continued discussion I suppose.

  6. Doreen (@DoreenO)

    Nice post written by what seems to be a nice guy. I agree with Spinks – self promotion is necessary, although people who need to do it most do it least.

    Note to nice guys: no one will toot your own horn as good as you. Don’t be afraid to do it. And I also agree with Nader, nice guys will come out on top … eventually. It just takes more time, patience and resiliency – and a degree of security that isn’t validated on how many people “like” you. Stay the course and everyone will get their just desserts.

    • Hi Doreen – thanks a bunch for the comment, and the compliment!

      Your point is certainly well taken. I should’ve included in this post that nobody will be a bigger fan of you than you. I don’t mean that in a snotty, conceded way, just that if you want to trumpet something you’ve done you can’t necessarily rely on others to do it for you.

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